Stepping Stones

This is the post excerpt.


Enter the abyss of my mind.

My thoughts…



Where inner demons dwell…

Deep within crevices and lurking in the shadows…

Welcome to my playground!

They had heard of a place where demons came out to play.   A place where worlds were born and died, a place lost to time and rumored to be a trick of the light that played on the minds of those who dared to venture forward into the darkness, who dared to step into silence.   Rumors of a woman who was lost to time itself, of shelves full of musty books, tomes and scrolls, a queen-sized bed with a canopy of green curtains hanging around it and tied back with gold tassels to the four bedposts.  A desk against one wall with a comfortable chair, a fireplace and torches set within brackets along the walls providing the only light.  It was further said the place was never warm, an ethereal mist hanging low over the floors and masking all scent and sound.  Yet, it was a place that caught their attention and so they dared to trespass into a place forgotten, dared to step through forests and valleys, surrounded by mountains and past loud waterfalls that fed swift rivers as they wound deeper into nature.

Into the darkness surrounding the cave’s interior, giant twisted oak and cherry trees dotting the path to the cave.  Flickering lights of flames from torches cast shadows and pitiful patches of light that danced across their eyes, their footsteps silent upon the stone floor.  The stone walls felt close and narrow, as if they were sealing any who walked within the cave deep within their own walls.  Here it was easy for the mind to have tricks played on it and thoughts of dangers and horrors lay at the front of the mind, brought about by imagination.

Slowly the light from the cave’s entrance faded and soon thereafter the torches stopped altogether.  Now surrounded by silence and darkness, there was the faint beating of wings and out of the darkness were a pair of life-like statues, statues that resembled ravens.  Their stone eyes seemed alive, following the interlopers as they descended the stairs that opened up to a large cavernous room.  Against one wall was a large hearth with a large mantle over it.    A round rug of bear fur lay in front of it, two high-backed recliners resting near the fire.  Something moved, the flutter of wings, the patter of paws.  Out of the darkness were glowing beady black eyes and yellow eyes that flew and walked towards the interlopers.  Jackals of all sizes and ravens.  The teenagers swallowed nervously but aside from the jackals surrounding the quartet and the ravens perching on perches and the mantle itself, one flew to a chair and let out a call.

Unbiddingly, unwillingly, four sets of eyes followed the movements of the raven that alighted upon a chair near the fire.  Slowly something stood and in that moment the fire itself seemed to leap higher, the faint scratching of a quill falling silent.  Slowly the someone or something within the chair rose, a pair of slippered feet stepping on the floor and walking around.  Staring in surprise, the teens could see a woman who appeared middle-aged, perhaps in her mid forties.   Hair that was mostly a light brown but interspersed with gray, a pair of green eyes and fair youthful skin.  A knee-length brown tunic and a red ankle length skirt made out the woman’s clothing as she lifted her head and stared at the four.  The raven from the chair flew to her shoulder, one of the jackals moving to her side.  “My friends informed me there were interlopers within my grounds but I confess I thought they were getting old and imagining it.   It seems they were telling the truth.”

“Who…who are you?” questioned one teenager.

The woman stared at them quietly, a hand trailing down to rest on the jackal’s head.  Moments pass as the woman says nothing and the only sound that can be heard is the breathing of those present and the crackling flames within the large hearth.  “I have been known by different names throughout my life but you may refer to me by my chosen name, Totem.  You’ve come into my domain, whether out of curiosity or stupidity but now you’re trapped within.  Now that you’ve discovered my home I’m afraid you can’t ever leave.  Since you sought the Totem out of the abyss, then it is into the abyss you will remain for eternity.  Goodbye strangers of misfortune,” Totem said and with that she turned.

Walking away from the quartet of humans, the woman known as Totem retreated across the stone floor and down a short hall into another chamber, a wooden door of cherry wood shutting behind her.  The jackals edged forward and the mist seemed to swirl higher, crackling light dancing between the wisps.  It was an eerie sight and the last one the quartet would ever see for they’d never be seen again among mortals. In time their lives would be forgotten, thought dead by their families.  In the place of where the humans had been were two newborn ravens and a pair of newborn jackals.    Each animal took a pair and led them away into the darkness…for those who sought out Totem and see if she was real turned into her companions….where they could gain knowledge and be among the tomes and books of the abyss for eternity.

With that short and rather eerie introduction, allow me to introduce myself and welcome you to my blog.  I am Totem, a woman who has been writing dark things for years, poetry and short stories mainly.   I am a night owl as I think and write better at night but I am also a writer, reader and author though it has been years since I have published a book and the two I have published are likely out of print by now.    I am an unknown, an unknown who writes of demons and from the eyes of a serial killer, a lover of nature and mythology.    So, welcome to my blog and if you have come here from Nano, I am terrajedi on there or stormwolves on Deviant Art.   Welcome to my mind and remember…watch your step here and keep an eye over your shoulder.

Dragon Riders’ Song

A song I wrote that was sung by the dragon riders of old for Post IC AU on a now dead Inheritance Cycle forum on  It was a spur of the moment thing.

The song was taught to the riders’ of old and only two riders know of it, an elf rider named Maradik (a riderless rider who was a friend of my character Shenzi and belonged to an RP’er named Luck) who was in hiding for a century and a garnet rider named Shenzi Blackthorn; once a student of the elf rider Thuviel and then believed dead by the Order when Shenzi and his garnet Nova were kidnapped by Morzan and his terror beast.

© July 26, 2014

Bonded through an ancient spell

Hearts, minds and soul are joined

Oaths of protection we have sworn

To serve the land and the people.

Soaring over the land and sea

Through the air a rainbow of multi-colored scales

Wings flapping in the breeze

The Dragon Riders are here.

Duty calls, duty calls

We will search the land

For enemies and help the poor

This is our stand.

Loyal to the Order

Loyal to each other

Riders take up your swords

Dragons answer the call.

Through heart and mind and spirit

We are joined as one

This is our duty

To help those in need.

Roars sound throughout the air

Sky lizards roam the land

Riders come at beck and call

The time of the riders is here.

Ancient magic we have shaped

Fangs and claws shine brightly

Beneath the sun and the moon

A rider’s work is never done.

Hear the call, hear the call

Sound throughout the land

Join together, join together

To help our fellow kin.

Take up the sword and the mantle

Take up the duty of the oaths you swore

Armor yourself against the arrow

Dragons let loose your fury.

Riders fly throughout the land

Aiding your fellow man

Strike the enemy down when found

Let justice ring throughout the land.

Rider and dragon merge your minds

Merge your hearts and your souls

Protect the gem within the sky

The gem of wisdom is doomed if it falls.

So, hear the call, hear the call

Prepare yourselves for a fight

Join together, join together

The riders are here to stay.

Hear the roars in the sky

See the blades flashing

Years and years of training

To become peace keepers of the land.

So, smite thine enemies where they stand

Embrace the call of the people

To fight for justice is our cause

The riders are here to stay.

A rider’s job is never done

Training that lasts an immortal lifetime

Hear the shouts, hear the roars

Immortal ones live to serve.

Join together, join together

Hear the call of the people

Step up to your duty

The riders are here to stay.

Hear the call, hear the call

Join together, join together

With tooth and claw and blade

The Dragon Riders will fly again.

JOF Book 1 April 9th

Thanks to the help of a, well I suppose I would consider them a friend, has helped me out with the first paragraph and then some of Aventurine of Opportunity.   I am focusing on this book and the series for now, minus November when I will be working on my project for NANO as mentioned in a previous post.  I apologize for not writing in my blog, I have honestly forgotten about it and didn’t really have anything to update that would be interesting.   I have two versions of covers and haven’t decided yet which to use for the first book.

Version 1:

aventurine of opportunity

Version 2:

ao 2

Version 2 has the ruins of a citadel in the background while version 1 has an Aventurine in the center of the image.  I am unsure which cover to use.

I have the first chapter planned out and am slowly working on it, with my friend’s reminders.  They’re known as VeilPariah on RPN who I also role play on Discord in a private server detailing Veil’s loner and myself plus my pups for the werewolf role play.

Taiyo’s Lullaby

This lullaby is something Taiyo sung to his sister Hotaru that was sung to him by their mother.   It was for the same Wolf’s Rain RP forum I used to be part of that died in 2014.

© February 3, 2014

Little wolf go to sleep
I’ll be here for you
So, snuggle up next to me
I will always protect you.
Child of the moon
Child of the earth
You’re a hunter on the prowl.
Safety lies in the pack
Nobody can hurt you here
Don’t cry little child
The pack will always be here.
Swift of foot carries you
Across the ground
Blessed children of the moon
Raise your head and howl.
Symphony of harmony
Rings through the air
Within the pack you’ll be safe
Within the pack you’re home.
Children of the moon
Silent and deadly
Beware the man with the gun
For he is our enemy.
So, rest your weary head little one
I’ll be here to protect you always
Safety lies in the pack
Children of the moon.


NANO 2018 Title

So, since I am unable to do anything on Nano until October where I can announce my book title I will post it here.  The book I will be working on for 2018 Nano, which takes place in November every month, is called…

© Hocking Serial

It takes place in the town I am familiar with and have lived in as a child for a few years, a town that changes itself every five to ten years and the state forest in the hills that has a lot of state parks.     That’s all I’m saying.

Silver Light

A song of a pack for a dead Wolf’s Rain RP (Paradise Continues) I was in, a member of the pack Silver Light sang it as they searched for a new home.

(Copyright=February 3, 2014)

Silver Light in the dark

Pack is family

Guarding and protecting all

This is our destiny.

Silver Light oh so bright

Shining in the dark

Light the way to paradise

Follow the Flower Maiden.

Lunar flowers light the way

Silver Light follow

On the road wolves will go

To a home of their own.

Silver Light Pack is here

Do not be afraid

We’ll protect the ones in hope

Until we reach the end road.

Paradise lies beyond

The road of lunar flowers

Wolves converge along the path

Until we reach our home.